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 71 
 on: August 26, 2016, 02:07:21 AM 
Started by Nymree - Last post by oldghost
What is the name of the hill ?. Is there or has there ever been a spring there ?. What is the name of the closest village ?.

 72 
 on: August 25, 2016, 08:55:03 AM 
Started by Nymree - Last post by Nymree
I've tried researching it, and although nothing specific has come up I do know the local area well. On the hill itself there is bronze age hut circle remains, and also a hole stone which can possibly be linked to fertility and (theoretically) worship. However, there's no specific deities that come up in Google search.

I have a long history with the location, and I started this path because of a love of Nature and thus was immediately attracted to worship of Mother Earth. I'm not sure what made me drift away, maybe doubt. It seems there are a lot of links to an earth deity, but who that may be is still obscure.

 73 
 on: August 24, 2016, 10:53:23 PM 
Started by Nymree - Last post by oldghost
Nymree , you said the hill is a ancient site .Is there a Goddess associated with the hill?. What do you know about the location , any legends about the place . Could be that if there is a Goddess associated with that site she could be the  one that came to you . You should see what you can find out about the location.

 74 
 on: August 23, 2016, 08:04:09 PM 
Started by Nymree - Last post by marisol
Nymree sounds like you are on your way to finding your path. All will be revealed in time.


Blessings

 75 
 on: August 22, 2016, 12:20:31 AM 
Started by Nymree - Last post by Nymree
My experience would suggest, though, that the deity is the Earth Mother.

Thanks Alchymist, what your saying does make sense of things and has given me a bit of clarity in all the chaos. Sorry, I didn't notice you're comment until after I wrote that last wall of text.

 76 
 on: August 21, 2016, 10:34:21 PM 
Started by Nymree - Last post by Nymree
The problem is, I'm not entirely sure who my goddess is. For a while now, I've been wary of actively trying to seek out specific deity, even though I long for that kind of relationship, because of previous unfruitful (not negative, but not really positive) experiences with deities. So far, I've gotten the impression that, however They are, they will reveal their identity to me when the time comes. I've always felt drawn to Mother Nature, and started my path worshiping Gaia, but now have begun to feel more like the general name Mother Earth would fit my own experience better. To be specific, the original location of the walk was an old hill that is a sacred space to me, where I often go to find some peace. I was also dealing with letting go of a god figure in my life, but was also moving into a more intimate relationship with goddess, something that I now realize was maybe inevitable and only being delayed by my struggles with male deity.

The faces I saw were difficult to identify, but the first was clearly a woman's. The others were less striking of distinct, ranging from ages and possibly even gender. I did invite the deity into my dreams, actually, but unfortunately I didn't sleep well that night (not unusual for me and influenced by external unforeseen factors) and when I did dream it came in snippets that were faded (but linked with a recent reading I did on the matter.)

When I heard the voice, it was in my head, not at all external. I was actively engaging with my environment, in that I was being absorbed in the view and wondering if that was deity (or goddess) to me. I did think it was just my imagination, but when I heard it the second time in meditation it was joyful and light, almost excited (and, I'll admit, a little creepy; it is a bit much to go from expecting rejection to being declared "mine" in such a short time.)

I did wonder for a time if it was some playful spirit following me home from the hill (it is an ancient site) and sensing my turmoil and disruption in my path, having a bit of fun with me. After reading Marisol's take on it, though, I'm a little more trusting of whoever it may be.

I think I tend to expect negativity recently from deity, but this may be of my own fault. For context, I am a very compassionate and loving person (that was really not meant to sound so narcissistic) and on some level I care about everything and everyone. This has, however, made it difficult to deal with rejection at times, when I've tried and failed for one reason or another to develop relationship with deity. A key theme in my recent tarot readings has been "forgiveness", and I'm starting to think that I need to let that expectation of rejection go or else I'll only experience what I expect. Even so, it's difficult to un-train myself.

Now that I've got this spin on the matter, though, I'm actually doing a lot better. I'm starting to look at what I want out of this whole path and relationship, rather than being (maybe overly) tentative to the desires of deity. I mean, I am listening to the deity in my life, but I'm also starting to consider my own needs as well. I'm also experiencing a much more positive relationship with this being, whoever they are, despite my immediate surprise and wariness of them.

Honestly, I'm a bit relieved. It's been so long since I felt this kind of connection with deity, and although I'm still very hesitant to guess at their identity (which can be a pain at times, but I'm working with it) I'm just happy that they're there. I'm still a bit wary of them - my immediate reaction is always distrust, but in terms of my spirituality I get the sense that this isn't the best way to set a tone for all my relationships - but they've been incredibly supportive of me and I'm beginning to feel like I can trust them at least a little bit. For a long time I felt there was something there, now I suppose I might be more directly engaging with that? Possibly, but honestly it's been such a winding road to get to this point that I'm happy to accept things for what they are and roll with it.

Sorry, this turned into a thought-splurge since I didn't have anything nearby to write my thoughts down on. I'm a solitary, too, so I get very little opportunity to air my thoughts like this to others, either. Hope that all made sense, sorry for the occasional vagueness.

 77 
 on: August 21, 2016, 10:09:25 PM 
Started by Nymree - Last post by Alchymist
It is a great honour to be chosen by a Goddess; but with the honour comes an awesome responsibility. To be chosen by the Earth Goddess means to be a Witch and a Warrior in defence of the Earth from those who would profane and pollute her..... How you go about dealing with the responsibility is up to you; perhaps, if you listen carefully, She might suggest something for you to do. It may be something as simple as recycling, or going out one day and clearing the debris and garbage from a local creek - or something as vast and complex as studying ecology at University and becoming a campaigner for the Earth like David Suzuki or Rachel Carson...... but the choice, ultimately, is yours alone.

Blessed Be, and may the Goddess guide you.

ALchymist.

 78 
 on: August 21, 2016, 02:27:52 PM 
Started by Nymree - Last post by oldghost
Who is your Goddess ?.Can you tell us what she said and the faces you saw who's faces were they ?. What Marisol said is true to each in their own way .

See if she comes to you in your dreams , do you have your dream journal handy ?. Always be careful when something new happens . Write down all that you remember from your walk. Did you stop at a certain spot, sit by a new tree , hear what could have been the wind ?.

If you were not having negative feelings then you shouldn't have attracted any negative energy to yourself .

Be happy that she came to you so early in your searching for her .

 79 
 on: August 21, 2016, 03:01:50 AM 
Started by Nymree - Last post by Nymree
Thanks Marisol, that does make sense upon reflection :)

 80 
 on: August 20, 2016, 06:43:50 PM 
Started by Nymree - Last post by marisol
Nymree all of us experience deity/or not in individual ways. It may be the Mother is just reassuring you that you are hers, after all is that not what you wanted, to know her better and learn her ways. It sounds as though it was a way of saying she excepts you, that you matter and she is there when you call.

I can understand your feelings, but you didn't invite anything negative into your life. You were dedicating yourself to the Mother, the goddess you chose. She is not a negative deity, or a demon. Your thought was "mine" and she replied "You're mine". It doesn't mean you did anything wrong.
Some experiences are so sudden that they leave us a little shaken. You will be fine.

Blessings

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