I don't feel either of you are trying to sell me anything.
I was just wondering how you would label someone with beliefs such as mine. I've run across the you-are-not-an-Atheist-as-you-claim dialogue before.
You're right, Marisol, I do not like religion. I don't feel I seek the divine but cause I don't consider anything divine. It just is. Whatever it is.
It's all about control with me. I don't want controlled and I want to control everything. I thought I was done fighting this battle, but obviously not.
I think sometimes I want something to cling to... okay, I do want something to cling to at times. Then I wake up and slap myself silly. I don't want hope when I know within that there is no hope. Hope for what? I don't have a clue. I like to think I know what I don't want.
What I really want is everything all spelled out nice and neat. I want to know what is and what isn't so I don't have to guess. I can't surrender my all to something I have no clue as to what is. I can't let go. I can't trust. I rather think I need to figure out exactly what it is that I am scared of.
Energy. I believe in energy. Don't ask anymore questions.
Now I have a stomach ache. Pardon me while I go take an antacid and beat my head against a brick wall.