my past life is called nathan halliwell
Not THE Nathan Halliwell?
Nah - The OTHER Nathan Halliwell - Gerri Halliwell's useless half brother.
He was at one point hopeful of launching a solo pop-dance music career, riding on the coat tails of his famous sister, but an unsavoury encounter with Elton John in a backstage toilet cubicle left him with a nasty anal leakage problem which led to his ultimate demise at his own hands, when he attempted to gas himself with the kitchen range. Tragically, having run out of credit in the gas meter, he wasn't able to deliver himself a fatal dose and merely passed for a second, Upon recovering consciousness he saw the luck inherent in his close call and resolving to rebuild his shattered life (if not his shattered bowel) he decided to ease his frayed nerves by lighting a cigarette.
The resultant blast saved London City Council a small fortune in demolition fees, flattening a good block and a half of a Hackney Housing estate already earmarked to be cleared out in the Olympics Demolition Project (Otherwise known as "The London Riots) and claiming the lives of not only the much maligned Nathan, but 12 neighbours, a smallish meth lab and a motley collection of feral cats who resided in the building's utility room.