oh, dear. i certainly didn't mean this for... well... i just wanted some help. not cause an argument or encourage fraud in any way.
it isn't that i seek revenge. or punishment. lucifer and i discussed that i had considered doing forensic accounting at one point, perhaps with the fbi.
the morality issue comes from being consistently asked to "bend" the rules to get the better bottom line. bend em so hard they break. some people feel that if you are being paid to do a job, do the job and don't question it. i can't- not from what my gut tells me. i have spoken with a lawyer and received legal council, after i left boss #1's place. and yes, a bookkeeper can do time for just doing what they are told.
i don't do taxes. payroll tax, sales tax, yes. but not if the pool is dirty and i definitely don't do year end taxes. for more than one reason. but mostly because i LIKE being a bookkeeper. just as much as being an office manager. i like the logistics. and the patterns that the values make when entered in over a course of time. i like the challenge of a variety of tasks to do and complete. i like changing hats during the day, and bopping between payroll, ap, ar, and all the other ins and outs of the small office. i loved being in a construction office. there was always something new going on. always something new to learn. i learned to draw blue prints well enough to be turned in to an engineering office and town boards for approval. i learned so much about green technology. each project brought on a new bookkeeping challenge. i like finding the creative solutions for easy information retrieval and choosing activities that have multiple positive effects. such as metal recycling that helps pay for a job site. or storing month end information in 13 jackets a year instead of multiple binders and folders. using shredded sensitive material for packing (once its been mixed up enough) and then donating the rest to the local pet store or spca for litter. each of those things can be used to eliminate cost, recycle, reduce waste, and still get the job done effectively.
i am leaving the position anyway. before it becomes a problem (like year end). and i didn't accept the position with the twice-audited guy. the temp company i went through for that interview is impressed with my skills and is keeping an eye out for me.
the heartache, i guess i want to call it that, comes from knowing that what is being asked of me is not kosher and how I should deal with it. not how i should punish those who do it in the first place, because i can't control them. i can only control myself and my actions. i don't think i really want to go back to living that much chaos and be that combative anymore. and that is the answer i think i have been looking for, to give myself guidance in the next few weeks while i mull over this part of myself. i don't want to paint myself into a corner with my straight edgy ethics, but i don't want to turn into that which disgusts me either. i know how to cya, in case of a problem. and how to do that legally, thanks to the other advice i have received.
i have taken out a GL policy on myself as a dba. so, i have an extra layer of coverage. it isn't malpractice. but it is an extra something in case of a major problem. i have an accountant staff and a lawyer that know me well, as well as references from an insurance agent and a bank that will all swear to my code of conduct. i started this years ago. those references are gold to me and i treat those people with the respect and courtesy that they deserve. these are also good habits to have, whether or not there is a legal issue.
the rest comes down to how much in the grey i want to live. and how to deal with those people who want to push me past that level. how to negotiate those cow pies without setting myself up for an even worse situation. and if i am the one that needs to change, in order to achieve that, then that is what i must do. i want to come home at the end of the day and know i did my best and have enough energy to enjoy my personal life. i want to stop feeling used and mistreated by these people. and if i am the one that is causing it by being too hard, then i need to soften. or change where i am looking for employment.
this is why i turned to you. because you, on this board, don't sugar coat. even in compassion. each of you have given me insight. to myself. to my issues, even if i haven't fully laid them out. i wish to be my own change. without focusing so hard on the unhealthy negatives i am trying to get away from. so, i am sorry for the turn this has taken. wasn't my intention at all.
