any time, draco.
i was alone a lot, too, as a child. and not at the same time. i lived a duplictous life. since i was a baby.
my mother was a social worker. she saw the good in people, even when it wasn't healthy for her to do so. my father was a sociopath. as soon as my mother realized that, she divorced him. he was a sick bastard in every way and struck out at me as a means of breaking her.
i can say that she was my shining light. the true core of who i am. she lived in fear of a lot of things. but one of the best lessons she taught me was how to stand back up after life knocks you flat.
she was raised roman catholic vatican 1. i was raised unitarian.
outside my home, my life was incredibly violent. inside my home, when my mother, my sister and i got along, it was a lot of fun and games. when my sister and i did not get along, i was alone. mom worked 14 hour days. she stopped having time for all the little things. so, i get what you are saying, having to raise yourself and take care of yourself.
i have lived outside the box. i prefer it that way, no matter how much it scares me. or how much i feel like jello inside. sometimes, i look back and think- how in the world did i survive that?
i like coming here. i like not having my own board, even tho i miss it at times. the different perspectives make me think. make me rethink and a lot of it makes me go back to a simpler way of thinking.
i miss my street buds. but i would never go back to them. they were like a cross between a coven and a biker gang.
i miss my quad. sometimes i get angry that it broke. and not just for me, but the students i had at the time. the other people who were willing to come and make a small compoound with the homes in our area.
but mostly, i think what i really miss is the ability for like minded people to understand me without all the extra explaination. which i get right here.
and draco, some people change those walls into definition for themselves. healthy definition.
me? i am rediscovering that i like breaking taboos out of anger, and then i figure out what i was supposed to be and what i am, then get to decide if that is acceptable for me and where i want to go.
arn... if i ever get out to my uncle's place, i will definately let you know i will be out there.
fp travels a bit, and it may be time i started joining him. he was just in palm springs.
