Celtic Connection Forums

Spiritual Connection => The Earth-based Path => Topic started by: edens garden on March 21, 2013, 10:40:05 PM

Title: Fireflies
Post by: edens garden on March 21, 2013, 10:40:05 PM
This all took place over a five day long camping trip/spiritual retreat I took with some very interesting fellow pagans/witches/heathens.

The main ritual was planned over the course of a few months prior to the trip. It had been a long process of suggestion, revision, and in the end it was something everything could agree on, even if we weren't completely comfortable with it. Ritual morning started with a group breakfast. After wards we went on a group nature walk to find the best place for our ritual. After that we broke for lunch and spent most of the afternoon preparing ourselves in whatever way we felt best for the ritual. When it was time (despite the thunderstorms growing closer) we grounded as a group and then made our way to the ritual spot. All I will say about the ritual is this: for one reason or another I don't believe anyone was truly satisfied.

The high point of the ritual for me was the thunderstorm that came up about half way through. Thinking about it now that was the only thing that personally tied the initial ritual to what would take place later that evening. We continued in the rain, and it seemed like with each rumble of thunder the current under my skin became a bit more uncomfortable. I have always been very sensitive to natural energies, thunder storms in particular. What I didn't know how to do well at the time was to direct that energy or ground myself (honestly I still struggle with this at times). When we made our way back to camp I was still struggling with the build up of that energy.

Once we got back I started on dinner. Now, here's the thing: If you are the girl making orange chicken picatta for over half a dozen people in the middle of the woods and you ask for a drink, you're going to wind up with more than one. So, hands shaking from the energy I couldn't do anything with, I finished dinner while I downed a margarita (no salt, someone kicked that over the first night), an alcoholic Arnold Palmer, and about 3 fingers of homemade twenty seven year old bourbon. To say that by the time we sat down for dinner I was feeling like a million bucks is a bit of an overstatement. That didn't last, however. When we started to pick up after dinner I was feeling dizzy and queasy. Our Farm Witch took my plate for me and asked me to sit while he did my cleaning up for me. While he was talking to me he had his hands resting on my shoulders, and after he walked away I would swear to you I was stone cold sober.

Once everyone settled around the fire he told us that he would like to perform his own ritual, and that any of us who were interested were invited to watch. Before heading off into the woods to prepare he pulled me off to the side and told me it would mean a lot to him if I would be a part of it, and of course I agreed. At this point I still was feeling the electric current under my skin I have come to associate with raising energy. One of the other guys there had jokingly called me a battery at one point or another during the trip because “You store all that energy but unless you are plugged into something you can't do a damn thing with it.” It didn't occur to me until several weeks later that that is probably why our resident Farm Witch wanted me around. And I am unbelievably thankful he did.

When he had finished his preparations he came and brought most of us into the woods. He had already prepared an outer circle, to include us, as well as an inner circle in which he would conduct the ritual. As soon as we entered that outer circle the thunder started again, along with some impressive flashes of heat lightening. He quickly finished closing his circles and began. He conducted his ritual silently. Some were engaged in watching him, others seemed uneasy and unfocused. I honestly couldn't tell you who of us was which. The second he began I felt more alive that I had up until that point, and possibly since. Every particle of that forest was a part of me, down to the smallest sound or movement. I couldn't see him, or hear his ritual, but it seemed like I felt every single step. I had more energy surging through me than I could have imagined, but for once it felt like it was building something outside myself, instead of overwhelming me.

After what could have been an hour or an instant I was filled with the most perfect stillness. Everyone else (except Farmer, who was focused on his ritual) caught sight of a light in the trees. I remember someone asking in a frightened voice if it was a coyote. Apparently they thought it was eyes, but there was no light to reflect off of save the occasional flashes of heat lightening. In that moment there was no question in my mind what we were seeing, nor has there been any since. Firefly.

I grew up in Idaho listening to my mom talk about fireflies from when she was a little girl growing up in Connecticut. In my mind they were magic, pure and simple. I am all grown up now, and in that belief I am still six years old. I saw them for the first time when I was sixteen, and I was so completely overwhelmed just driving past a field lit up by them I begged my boyfriends parents to pull the car over. I spent the next ten minutes sitting in the middle of a field off state route nine, captivated. The next day I began exploring for something spiritually that could come close to what I felt sitting in that field surrounded by hundreds of lights.

I remember whispering, telling everyone that is what they were seeing, but I can't be certain I made a sound. I don't remember the ritual ending, I don't remember if anyone said anything to me before wandering off to camp. I just remember the stillness, and the light. Farmer was the one who broke that spell. He didn't say so much as a word, just led me a few yards away and helped me lean against a tree, placing my palms against the rough bark on either side. And then he walked away.

As soon as I touched the tree whatever energy I had remaining drained out of me. I was left weak, supported only by the tree behind me. I honestly felt more empty that I ever have. For a moment. It has been nearly three years, and I still don't have the words to truly explain what happened to me next. The closest I have come is this: I was given a choice. In that instant I knew I had to either choose to follow this path, wherever it may lead, or to deny it and wander, lost. I was flooded with two lifetimes worth of emotion. Loneliness, wonder, awe, spirituality. Or acceptance, emptiness, longing, false security. I made my choice, without consciously knowing I did. And I have never looked back.

I can only sum it up using Farmers words. When he came to me, still slumped against that tree, sobbing through the most pure joy I have ever felt. “The Goddess found you, didn't she?”

And so she did.
Title: Re: Fireflies
Post by: Rosemadder on March 22, 2013, 08:12:55 AM
Now that is a story.

Thanks so much for putting it down for us. Thank you for sharing.

I'm so glad I got to read it. <3
Title: Re: Fireflies
Post by: edens garden on March 22, 2013, 08:15:00 AM
Now that is a story.

Thanks so much for putting it down for us. Thank you for sharing.

I'm so glad I got to read it. <3

Thank you, Rose.

I have been debating sharing this for the last two or three years now. Just the act of writing it down was exhausting, but I'm glad I finally got around to it.
Title: Re: Fireflies
Post by: Arnemetia on March 22, 2013, 08:53:56 AM
Wonderful EG.  Thank you for sharing that with us.
Title: Re: Fireflies
Post by: Draconis Rex on March 22, 2013, 08:55:38 AM
An interesting read and both a frightening and uplifting experience. No wonder you felt drained afterwards. Thanks for sharing EG.
Title: Re: Fireflies
Post by: marisol on March 22, 2013, 09:52:11 AM
Thanks EG. Fireflies are disappearing due to changes in habitat and lighting around our cities and towns. When I was little they were everywhere, I thought they were very magical. We can increase the population by having small ponds in our yards, planting trees or leaving leafs and
pieces of sticks or rotting logs around trees.
Title: Re: Fireflies
Post by: edens garden on March 22, 2013, 10:21:28 AM
Thanks EG. Fireflies are disappearing due to changes in habitat and lighting around our cities and towns. When I was little they were everywhere, I thought they were very magical. We can increase the population by having small ponds in our yards, planting trees or leaving leafs and
pieces of sticks or rotting logs around trees.

The second I buy a house I will be doing this. Really hate living in an apartment right now!
Title: Re: Fireflies
Post by: Arnemetia on March 24, 2013, 09:09:25 AM
I loved chasing fireflies as a child.  There are none out here in Oregon.  A few years ago I went back east to a reunion and got to chase them again with my nieces and nephews.  :)
Title: Re: Fireflies
Post by: Earthbound Spirit on March 24, 2013, 09:29:25 AM
They all live in Kentucky now....  :-p  I saw hundreds of them when I was there.
Title: Re: Fireflies
Post by: Arnemetia on March 24, 2013, 09:33:14 AM
They all live in Kentucky now....  :-p  I saw hundreds of them when I was there.

That is where the reunion was. LOL  At Cumberland Lake.
Title: Re: Fireflies
Post by: marisol on March 25, 2013, 01:16:23 PM
I read recently a new species of firefly was found in Pennsylvania. There are some here but not
many.
Title: Re: Fireflies
Post by: Draconis Rex on March 25, 2013, 01:39:31 PM
(http://i1284.photobucket.com/albums/a579/maddragon63/images9_zpscd32d879.jpg)
Title: Re: Fireflies
Post by: Firesong on March 25, 2013, 03:39:34 PM
Absolutely beautiful EG... I lived in Ohio as a child and fell in love with them as well.  I'll always remember the lightning bugs, and the Cicadas; an audio visual delight...
Title: Re: Fireflies
Post by: edens garden on March 25, 2013, 03:44:08 PM
(http://i1284.photobucket.com/albums/a579/maddragon63/images9_zpscd32d879.jpg)

You, sir, are a gentleman and a scholar.
Title: Re: Fireflies
Post by: Draconis Rex on March 25, 2013, 03:52:24 PM
LoL.... I have my moments 8)
Title: Re: Fireflies
Post by: shadetree on April 10, 2013, 01:48:34 PM
    I still like the fireflies too, Rae. Remember mother always knows her own, remember?  8)
Title: Re: Fireflies
Post by: edens garden on April 10, 2013, 08:22:49 PM
    I still like the fireflies too, Rae. Remember mother always knows her own, remember?  8)

It is something I promise you I will never forget.
Title: Re: Fireflies
Post by: shadetree on May 01, 2013, 09:40:13 PM
       Hey Lil sister, I hope mother blessed your evening well.
                                                Shade & Peace always sweet heart.
Title: Re: Fireflies
Post by: WhiteRaven on May 02, 2013, 04:50:00 AM
They all live in Kentucky now....  :-p  I saw hundreds of them when I was there.

Its true. There are tons of Fireflies where I live!
Title: Re: Fireflies
Post by: edens garden on May 02, 2013, 06:39:43 AM
       Hey Lil sister, I hope mother blessed your evening well.
                                                Shade & Peace always sweet heart.

I had a wonderful night. Much simpler than many years before, but with everything going on that suited me just fine. No fireflies yet (been much too cold) but I did have an Owl come sit and keep me company.
Title: Re: Fireflies
Post by: marisol on May 02, 2013, 03:48:03 PM
I greatly dislike the chilly weather we have now and possible snow tomorrow. It will be too warm to stick, but not needed anyway. I would love to get out in the garden, which is where I wanted to spend Beltane. But I spent it in the house instead. It was just as enjoyable.  Gracie my cat was in circle with me, she's learning quickly.
Title: Re: Fireflies
Post by: edens garden on May 02, 2013, 04:50:17 PM
I greatly dislike the chilly weather we have now and possible snow tomorrow. It will be too warm to stick, but not needed anyway. I would love to get out in the garden, which is where I wanted to spend Beltane. But I spent it in the house instead. It was just as enjoyable.  Gracie my cat was in circle with me, she's learning quickly.

My Mirriam loves to be a part of my circles. I swear she almost flaunts being able to walk in an out. She really likes to lay on things I think I need. Cats are funny like that.
Title: Re: Fireflies
Post by: Arnemetia on May 05, 2013, 07:59:06 AM
My Jack use to join me in circle.  I really missed him the other night.  He disappeared this last Fall.
Title: Re: Fireflies
Post by: marisol on June 13, 2013, 01:01:37 PM
Fireflies were out last night, such beautiful  little things.
Title: Re: Fireflies
Post by: Eliza on June 13, 2013, 10:01:39 PM
Its been a while, I got lost somewjere in Quakerland for a bit.  Not my cup of tea after quite a bit of research.  The liberal group I thought I had found was not so liberal, but that is off topic.

I just wanted to express appreciation to Edens Garden for sharing her experience.  If I trusted that I would find such a group of Wiccans to share that lovely type of ritual, I'd be there in a heartbeat.  But I think it best that I remain a lone panentheist here in my own Garden of Eden.
Title: Re: Fireflies
Post by: edens garden on June 13, 2013, 11:12:38 PM
Its been a while, I got lost somewjere in Quakerland for a bit.  Not my cup of tea after quite a bit of research.  The liberal group I thought I had found was not so liberal, but that is off topic.

I just wanted to express appreciation to Edens Garden for sharing her experience.  If I trusted that I would find such a group of Wiccans to share that lovely type of ritual, I'd be there in a heartbeat.  But I think it best that I remain a lone panentheist here in my own Garden of Eden.

Actually I think only one of the people there was Wiccan. It was fadcinating to see how different people practiced. It was our good old witches ritual that made my experience possible.

Normally I practice alone, too. There's a certain beauty to it, isn't there?
Title: Re: Fireflies
Post by: oldghost on June 14, 2013, 03:39:12 AM
Heven't seen fireflies in ages . wish we had them out in here.
Title: Re: Fireflies
Post by: oldghost on June 14, 2013, 03:41:22 AM
Good to see you have returned Eliza , hope you stay around longer this time . How have things been going with you ?.
Title: Re: Fireflies
Post by: Eliza on July 05, 2013, 07:55:20 AM
Thanx OldGhost  for welcoming me back.  Guess I should do a reintro. 
Title: Re: Fireflies
Post by: oldghost on July 06, 2013, 06:28:52 PM
Anytime Eliza .  ;D
Title: Re: Fireflies
Post by: Phoenix on July 26, 2013, 12:44:42 AM
That story brought tears to my eyes. Im not sure why It did but thank you so much for sharing Edens.

Here in NC almost at the South Carolina Boarder there are tons, I swear I saw several hundred last time I was out in the woods. :D
Title: Re: Fireflies
Post by: Amythestorm on July 27, 2013, 07:10:59 AM
It's been awhile since I've visited the boards and this is the first thread I chose to read and I'm so thankful that I did. Great story Eden, thank you so much for sharing. I've been feeling a little out of sorts lately and could really use an intense experience to redirect/verify my life right now.

I have many fireflies in my yard which has a pond, trees (woods) and field that currently contains corn. On a very humid summer night there are TONS of fireflies. I can sit out back and watch them for hours...they are very magical and fascinating to watch. Something I heard that I didn't know, but didn't look it up to see if it's true either, female fireflies are only found on the ground so all those ones flying about are male.
Title: Re: Fireflies
Post by: Draconis Rex on July 27, 2013, 08:30:19 AM
Hi Amy, nice to see you again. Hope you'll stay with us a while...
Title: Re: Fireflies
Post by: Rosemadder on July 27, 2013, 03:22:45 PM
My outside circle is surrounded by a grove of trees on three sides and after a small bit of a mossy patch there is an area I've just let grow with whatever Mother Nature wants, along with my own Mom's sweet peas. On warm summer nights after a ritual it's just plain magical out there among the fireflies.

I thought of you, Eden's Garden, on the equinox when I was sitting there in delight.

I swear I saw different colored fireflies that night but my husband assures me they are all one color.
Title: Re: Fireflies
Post by: elveie on July 26, 2014, 01:04:41 PM
What a beautiful story. When I was a child, I would chase fireflies for as long as I could. One night my father came up to me and to me to be gentle with them because they were magical creature. That they disguised themselves as insects when you got close enough to see them to protect them. I remember looking at them in awe, and in a way, I believe that was one of my stepping stones to the path I am on today.
Title: Re: Fireflies
Post by: edens garden on August 07, 2014, 06:49:03 PM
I was looking for this the other day, to revise and add to my BoS. Thought I'd lost it when my old computer died. I suppose I might was well stick around for a while, since I'm already here.

I'm just glad to know that sharing my story has been a positive experience for those who have read it.
Title: Re: Fireflies
Post by: Arnemetia on August 12, 2014, 09:02:54 AM
Hi EG.  Great to see you.
Title: Re: Fireflies
Post by: edens garden on August 13, 2014, 10:07:45 PM
Hi EG.  Great to see you.

Nice to see you, too. It's been a while, but this break was much needed.