Welcome, Guest
August 15, 2018, 01:53:58 AM
News: Visit our Store for Pagan Books, Wiccan Jewelry and Magical Supplies! http://wicca.com/stores/entrance.html
Pages: [1] 2   Go Down

Author Topic: "You're Mine"  (Read 1682 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Nymree

  • Elm
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 23
"You're Mine"
« on: August 20, 2016, 08:07:30 AM »

Today, for the first time, I felt like I was somehow unofficially dedicating myself to Mother Earth. I had a thought pop up; "mine", and assumed it to be my own brain throwing weird and random thoughts at me. It was during a spiritual walk and communion with nature, and when I got home I made an offering. I entered meditation after, really quite easily,even thought I had been struggling this morning, and suddenly a strange sensation washed over me. In my mind's eye, I saw the goddess actually enter my body, and I had several strange sensations wash over me like hot flushes and light-headedness. My arms felt like they were floating, or at least they felt very light. I heard her say several things, greeting me by my name and saying to me "you're mine". I also saw several faces flash up inside my eyelids. Now, before this I have considered deity to be within all of us, and I once accepted a very soft-polytheistic view of nature deity, so this could impact things.

My main question is: is this bad? I know it may just be something to do with subconscious and psychology, and I accept that this could easily be my imagination. It was just a very convincing experience, and I haven't a lot of knowledge in this area - the only advice I ever received was "don't get into witchcraft, or you'll get demons". (I do not have this opinion and mean no offence by repeating it, it's just to clarify my paranoia in the area of strange and unfamiliar experiences.)

Now, I'm slightly paranoid, and I don't want to invite anything negative or manipulative into my life. I'm happy to dedicate myself to the goddess, but I still don't know if I should be paranoid about all of this. "You're mine" is very powerful and slightly discomforting, after all, but then I can't expect deity to work by the perspective of humanity?

Sorry this may sound jumbled - this has only just happened, still feeling a little weird and really funky. Difficult to describe.

Thanks to any and all replies made!
Logged

marisol

  • Member
  • Redwood
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 5855
  • Blessed be all in the Goddess
Re: "You're Mine"
« Reply #1 on: August 20, 2016, 06:43:50 PM »

Nymree all of us experience deity/or not in individual ways. It may be the Mother is just reassuring you that you are hers, after all is that not what you wanted, to know her better and learn her ways. It sounds as though it was a way of saying she excepts you, that you matter and she is there when you call.

I can understand your feelings, but you didn't invite anything negative into your life. You were dedicating yourself to the Mother, the goddess you chose. She is not a negative deity, or a demon. Your thought was "mine" and she replied "You're mine". It doesn't mean you did anything wrong.
Some experiences are so sudden that they leave us a little shaken. You will be fine.

Blessings
Logged
Protect your 2nd amendment rights.

What do you seek?

Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.   Kurt Cobain

Nymree

  • Elm
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 23
Re: "You're Mine"
« Reply #2 on: August 21, 2016, 03:01:50 AM »

Thanks Marisol, that does make sense upon reflection :)
Logged

oldghost

  • Member
  • Blackthorn
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 9238
  • Nightwinds whisper all to me
Re: "You're Mine"
« Reply #3 on: August 21, 2016, 02:27:52 PM »

Who is your Goddess ?.Can you tell us what she said and the faces you saw who's faces were they ?. What Marisol said is true to each in their own way .

See if she comes to you in your dreams , do you have your dream journal handy ?. Always be careful when something new happens . Write down all that you remember from your walk. Did you stop at a certain spot, sit by a new tree , hear what could have been the wind ?.

If you were not having negative feelings then you shouldn't have attracted any negative energy to yourself .

Be happy that she came to you so early in your searching for her .
Logged
"Everything I know I learned by listening and watching . Nowadays people learn out of books instead . Doctors study what man has learned . I pray to understand what man has forgotten ." Vernon Cooper

Alchymist

  • Moderator
  • Ash
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 844
  • Keep them off-balance and brazen it out!
Re: "You're Mine"
« Reply #4 on: August 21, 2016, 10:09:25 PM »

It is a great honour to be chosen by a Goddess; but with the honour comes an awesome responsibility. To be chosen by the Earth Goddess means to be a Witch and a Warrior in defence of the Earth from those who would profane and pollute her..... How you go about dealing with the responsibility is up to you; perhaps, if you listen carefully, She might suggest something for you to do. It may be something as simple as recycling, or going out one day and clearing the debris and garbage from a local creek - or something as vast and complex as studying ecology at University and becoming a campaigner for the Earth like David Suzuki or Rachel Carson...... but the choice, ultimately, is yours alone.

Blessed Be, and may the Goddess guide you.

ALchymist.
Logged
"Truly I say to you, he who seeks, shall find. And sometimes, he shall wish he hadn't."

Believe nothing: question everything: think for yourself!

Nymree

  • Elm
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 23
Re: "You're Mine"
« Reply #5 on: August 21, 2016, 10:34:21 PM »

The problem is, I'm not entirely sure who my goddess is. For a while now, I've been wary of actively trying to seek out specific deity, even though I long for that kind of relationship, because of previous unfruitful (not negative, but not really positive) experiences with deities. So far, I've gotten the impression that, however They are, they will reveal their identity to me when the time comes. I've always felt drawn to Mother Nature, and started my path worshiping Gaia, but now have begun to feel more like the general name Mother Earth would fit my own experience better. To be specific, the original location of the walk was an old hill that is a sacred space to me, where I often go to find some peace. I was also dealing with letting go of a god figure in my life, but was also moving into a more intimate relationship with goddess, something that I now realize was maybe inevitable and only being delayed by my struggles with male deity.

The faces I saw were difficult to identify, but the first was clearly a woman's. The others were less striking of distinct, ranging from ages and possibly even gender. I did invite the deity into my dreams, actually, but unfortunately I didn't sleep well that night (not unusual for me and influenced by external unforeseen factors) and when I did dream it came in snippets that were faded (but linked with a recent reading I did on the matter.)

When I heard the voice, it was in my head, not at all external. I was actively engaging with my environment, in that I was being absorbed in the view and wondering if that was deity (or goddess) to me. I did think it was just my imagination, but when I heard it the second time in meditation it was joyful and light, almost excited (and, I'll admit, a little creepy; it is a bit much to go from expecting rejection to being declared "mine" in such a short time.)

I did wonder for a time if it was some playful spirit following me home from the hill (it is an ancient site) and sensing my turmoil and disruption in my path, having a bit of fun with me. After reading Marisol's take on it, though, I'm a little more trusting of whoever it may be.

I think I tend to expect negativity recently from deity, but this may be of my own fault. For context, I am a very compassionate and loving person (that was really not meant to sound so narcissistic) and on some level I care about everything and everyone. This has, however, made it difficult to deal with rejection at times, when I've tried and failed for one reason or another to develop relationship with deity. A key theme in my recent tarot readings has been "forgiveness", and I'm starting to think that I need to let that expectation of rejection go or else I'll only experience what I expect. Even so, it's difficult to un-train myself.

Now that I've got this spin on the matter, though, I'm actually doing a lot better. I'm starting to look at what I want out of this whole path and relationship, rather than being (maybe overly) tentative to the desires of deity. I mean, I am listening to the deity in my life, but I'm also starting to consider my own needs as well. I'm also experiencing a much more positive relationship with this being, whoever they are, despite my immediate surprise and wariness of them.

Honestly, I'm a bit relieved. It's been so long since I felt this kind of connection with deity, and although I'm still very hesitant to guess at their identity (which can be a pain at times, but I'm working with it) I'm just happy that they're there. I'm still a bit wary of them - my immediate reaction is always distrust, but in terms of my spirituality I get the sense that this isn't the best way to set a tone for all my relationships - but they've been incredibly supportive of me and I'm beginning to feel like I can trust them at least a little bit. For a long time I felt there was something there, now I suppose I might be more directly engaging with that? Possibly, but honestly it's been such a winding road to get to this point that I'm happy to accept things for what they are and roll with it.

Sorry, this turned into a thought-splurge since I didn't have anything nearby to write my thoughts down on. I'm a solitary, too, so I get very little opportunity to air my thoughts like this to others, either. Hope that all made sense, sorry for the occasional vagueness.
Logged

Nymree

  • Elm
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 23
Re: "You're Mine"
« Reply #6 on: August 22, 2016, 12:20:31 AM »

My experience would suggest, though, that the deity is the Earth Mother.

Thanks Alchymist, what your saying does make sense of things and has given me a bit of clarity in all the chaos. Sorry, I didn't notice you're comment until after I wrote that last wall of text.
Logged

marisol

  • Member
  • Redwood
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 5855
  • Blessed be all in the Goddess
Re: "You're Mine"
« Reply #7 on: August 23, 2016, 08:04:09 PM »

Nymree sounds like you are on your way to finding your path. All will be revealed in time.


Blessings
Logged
Protect your 2nd amendment rights.

What do you seek?

Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.   Kurt Cobain

oldghost

  • Member
  • Blackthorn
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 9238
  • Nightwinds whisper all to me
Re: "You're Mine"
« Reply #8 on: August 24, 2016, 10:53:23 PM »

Nymree , you said the hill is a ancient site .Is there a Goddess associated with the hill?. What do you know about the location , any legends about the place . Could be that if there is a Goddess associated with that site she could be the  one that came to you . You should see what you can find out about the location.
Logged
"Everything I know I learned by listening and watching . Nowadays people learn out of books instead . Doctors study what man has learned . I pray to understand what man has forgotten ." Vernon Cooper

Nymree

  • Elm
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 23
Re: "You're Mine"
« Reply #9 on: August 25, 2016, 08:55:03 AM »

I've tried researching it, and although nothing specific has come up I do know the local area well. On the hill itself there is bronze age hut circle remains, and also a hole stone which can possibly be linked to fertility and (theoretically) worship. However, there's no specific deities that come up in Google search.

I have a long history with the location, and I started this path because of a love of Nature and thus was immediately attracted to worship of Mother Earth. I'm not sure what made me drift away, maybe doubt. It seems there are a lot of links to an earth deity, but who that may be is still obscure.
Logged

oldghost

  • Member
  • Blackthorn
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 9238
  • Nightwinds whisper all to me
Re: "You're Mine"
« Reply #10 on: August 26, 2016, 02:07:21 AM »

What is the name of the hill ?. Is there or has there ever been a spring there ?. What is the name of the closest village ?.
Logged
"Everything I know I learned by listening and watching . Nowadays people learn out of books instead . Doctors study what man has learned . I pray to understand what man has forgotten ." Vernon Cooper

Draconis Rex

  • Your friendly, fire breathing
  • Council Elder
  • Blackthorn
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 9756
  • I am the mad dragon, hear me roar!
Re: "You're Mine"
« Reply #11 on: August 26, 2016, 03:06:22 AM »

As OG suggests, try and find out any nearby names of those places; sometimes a place may be named for a deity in someway. Sometimes the name may become obscured through the passage of time, dig deep.
Logged
Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup

I WAS the 5th rider of the Apocalypse, before they became famous.

oldghost

  • Member
  • Blackthorn
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 9238
  • Nightwinds whisper all to me
Re: "You're Mine"
« Reply #12 on: August 26, 2016, 09:01:21 AM »

If you try to find info on the area , another source would be any history of the Roman occupation of the area that liked to add local deities from the area into the pantheon to get along better with the local powers .
Logged
"Everything I know I learned by listening and watching . Nowadays people learn out of books instead . Doctors study what man has learned . I pray to understand what man has forgotten ." Vernon Cooper

Nymree

  • Elm
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 23
Re: "You're Mine"
« Reply #13 on: August 26, 2016, 09:03:04 AM »

Yeah, I've dug through the history before for school projects, but unfortunately not much comes up. I have found some links to articles and stories about Og and Magog, but nothing about that specific location. I can't put much about details here, as its extremely close to where I live, however I can say that the area was named after an influential family a hundred or so years ago. In Cornwall there is a lot of gaps, it seems, in the knowledge of our own heritage, but it may be that I have to wait and see what other pieces of the puzzle I'm given along the way.

There are other things that I have believed to be linked to this deity, such as birds (specifically black birds or maybe corvids) but all of this is a bit up in the air.
Logged

Nymree

  • Elm
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 23
Re: "You're Mine"
« Reply #14 on: August 26, 2016, 09:35:01 AM »

A yahoo answer that I'll link below makes me wonder if the Gog and Magog tale and mythology may link some ancient beings to the local area, and that may be why I felt a connection to them (through my home). However, that is only one theory, since there's so little to go off. Since Gog and Magog are varied in cultures and can even be linked to as Celtic deities by some theories, it may be that they are actually deities/a deity that I have met through linkage with the local land.

https://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110928072845AAjeTQr

Also, I did further searches on my area and all I could find was an ancient name for the area. Further searches only unearthed a few pagan kings, according to Google, and these linked to nothing further. I am hesitant with putting too much detail in, but I may be willing to give a few details if someone drops me a pm, and if they think they might be able to help. Otherwise, my best theory is that it links to Gog Magog somehow.
Logged
Pages: [1] 2   Go Up