Welcome, Guest
August 18, 2018, 01:19:02 PM
News: Visit our Store for Pagan Books, Wiccan Jewelry and Magical Supplies! http://wicca.com/stores/entrance.html
Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 15   Go Down

Author Topic: In response to any perceived harsh responses to newcomers  (Read 37854 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Wyldkat

  • On sabbatical from admin duties
  • Elder On Leave
  • Spruce
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3748
  • Don't feed the llamas!
    • Wyldkat's Pagan Place
In response to any perceived harsh responses to newcomers
« on: November 08, 2009, 09:11:41 PM »

Everyone was new at one time and we respectfully ask all of our members to be as patient and helpful with newcomers as they would want others to be with them.  Of course the flip side of this is that as a newcomer we ask you to please look around for topics dealing with your questions before posting them yourself.  Be aware that the same question asked 1,000,000 times will eventually get on anyone's nerves.  Take everything that is said with a grain of salt and remember that everyone is human and has their own unique personalities.  The internet is short on nuance and it is easy to take a rote response as a personal attack if you don't know the person or the intent behind their post.

Thank you.

P.S. You might want to check out this workshop:  http://wicca.com/forums/index.php?topic=3268.0
« Last Edit: July 24, 2010, 11:33:31 AM by Wyldkat »
Logged
Please click to read my Examiner articles on paganism:  http://www.examiner.com/paganism-6-in-san-jose/tina-mulhall

"Question not only reality and authority, but yourself, repeatedly and with vigor." Lupa (from Witches and Pagans)

DRADIS

  • Member
  • Elm
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 22
Re: In response to any perceived harsh responses to newcomers
« Reply #1 on: November 09, 2009, 12:48:39 AM »

Well and timely said.
Logged

oldghost

  • Member
  • Blackthorn
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 9240
  • Nightwinds whisper all to me
Re: In response to any perceived harsh responses to newcomers
« Reply #2 on: November 24, 2009, 02:37:58 PM »

Bravo,it is so true of humans;but alas we are stuck with what we are. oldghost
Logged
"Everything I know I learned by listening and watching . Nowadays people learn out of books instead . Doctors study what man has learned . I pray to understand what man has forgotten ." Vernon Cooper

behind shadows

  • Member
  • Fir
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 40
Re: In response to any perceived harsh responses to newcomers
« Reply #3 on: December 20, 2009, 01:19:21 AM »

I agree..  :)

when i registered my old account here last 2006.. i was welcomed with a harsh response from other members..

but the other members explained that i need to be patient to other members..especially the old ones.. :)

By then i learned to absorb negative and positive comments and replies from other members..

because i realized that some negative comments were not made to tease or hurt others, but it is a path of learning mistakes and correcting them..

Well, thanks to all TCC members for welcoming me.. :)
Logged
"Flying is hard, Landing is harder"

www.myspace.com/ageofbelial

darkmistress2009

  • Member
  • Fir
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 47
Re: In response to any perceived harsh responses to newcomers
« Reply #4 on: December 30, 2009, 08:41:55 PM »

so far so good i havent had any harsh comments just people helping me and welcoming me this is the site that i like thank you for everyone being so welcoming. but i guess only time will tell
Logged
darkmistress2009

The Pet Goddess

  • Member
  • Hawthorn
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1494
  • Give the Gift of Love...Volunteer!
Re: In response to any perceived harsh responses to newcomers
« Reply #5 on: April 20, 2010, 05:07:27 AM »

but the other members explained that i need to be patient to other members..especially the old ones.. :)
You want to clarify that?  lol... 

Yes, us tottering old fools need catered to or we get crotchety.   
Logged
We are prone to judge success by the index of our salaries or the size of our automobiles, rather than by the quality of our service relationship to humanity. ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

Sky_Wolf

  • Member
  • Willow
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 57
  • "Hate fades, Love grows."
    • the Cure for Boredom
Re: In response to any perceived harsh responses to newcomers
« Reply #6 on: June 28, 2010, 03:38:22 AM »

i'd like to believe there are good people on this site, but so far they seem to be in the silent majority. most of what i have encountered has been ridicule and childish bickering. i am really debating whether or not to leave. this was my haven when i started witchcraft, but now it seems no one can open their mouths around here without having someone leap down their throat. it's very saddening.
Logged
"People fear the wolf in the darkness because they fear the darkness in themselves."

tomas

  • Member
  • Holly
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 239
  • See the above...
Re: In response to any perceived harsh responses to newcomers
« Reply #7 on: June 28, 2010, 07:11:32 AM »

Sky_Wolf

There are a lot of good, knowledgeable folks here who are more than willing to help newbies or old timers with any questions they might have about all kinds of subjects and often these good knowledgeable folks will answer a question exactly as the question is posed to them. Most of the time this is a good thing. Sometimes though, they 'might' seem a little heartless if the question reads as fluffy or just plain dumb. Although no question is stupid, some questions generate responses that are less (or g-ds forbid, more) than the poster would like to see on their screen. Also, most of us are aware that some folks have an aversion to worshiping the great g-d Google and the lesser g-d Search Box. To put the great g-d Google and lesser g-d Search Box into perspective, I'd like to say right now that it really is ok to do a little research before one asks simple, obviously un-researched, dumb questions under the guise of starting a discussion. Or in plain words, we'll all try to give anyone answers as best we can but we refuse to spoon feed any who are obviously too lazy to look for answers on their own.

TCC is blessed with mods and Elders do a wonderful job of keeping this forum running the way it should. We are also blessed with more than a few members, Elders and mods with a fine, sharp sense of humor and a wonderful, refreshing wit. This is a good thing too, as this forum tends to attract a few folks of all ages who are somewhat full of themselves, being Legends in Their Own Minds and this humor and wit does much good by way of deflating some who truly need and want (it may seem otherwise at times though but trust me, they will discover this 'want' someday) such deflating. At times, even us long-time members (been there myself, just not lately) need a little deflating, owing to our developing a sort of 'Legend' in our own mind. This too shall pass, just as soon as we (that's a collective 'we' by the way) return to earth.

tomas
Logged
"Music is a release from the tyranny of conscious thought"
-- Kevin Burke
Insanity is inherited, you get it from your kids...

Sky_Wolf

  • Member
  • Willow
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 57
  • "Hate fades, Love grows."
    • the Cure for Boredom
Re: In response to any perceived harsh responses to newcomers
« Reply #8 on: June 28, 2010, 10:09:53 AM »

but surely, from a site and path that teaches such tolerance and love, even 'dumb' or badly worded questions should be treated with understanding and patience. i really don't see the need for any rudness or ridicule from any member towards another. surely these 'dumb' questions are better ignored or left for someone else to respond to if one cannot think of a kind answer. what ever happened to if you can't say something nice don't say anything at all?
i'll grant you the expectation that someone would look around the site before asking a question, but is google really neccessary? i've never regarded it as a reliable source, i'd rather ask a friend or look up a book, and besides, don't people come here with questions because they'd rather have a discussion with like-minded people?
i can see that there are many knowledgeable and good people here, but a few bad apples can spoil the harvest.
Logged
"People fear the wolf in the darkness because they fear the darkness in themselves."

tomas

  • Member
  • Holly
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 239
  • See the above...
Re: In response to any perceived harsh responses to newcomers
« Reply #9 on: June 28, 2010, 10:55:50 AM »

Note: This post is being collaborated on by two members, tomas and Old Hen.

but surely, from a site and path that teaches such tolerance and love, even 'dumb' or badly worded questions should be treated with understanding and patience. i really don't see the need for any rudness or ridicule from any member towards another.


Well, yes, understanding and patience are great but after a time some things just become tiresome. No matter what path/belief system/religion you adhere to, sooner or later you'll need to develop a little thicker skin because what is rudeness or impoliteness to some is normal, everyday conversation to others. Just because one stubs their toe doesn't mean they should stop walking.

surely these 'dumb' questions are better ignored or left for someone else to respond to if one cannot think of a kind answer. what ever happened to if you can't say something nice don't say anything at all?

Sometimes the true answers are the answers that people don't want to hear and are then taken as rude, impolite or not-very-nice-at-all.

i'll grant you the expectation that someone would look around the site before asking a question, but is google really neccessary? i've never regarded it as a reliable source, i'd rather ask a friend or look up a book, and besides, don't people come here with questions because they'd rather have a discussion with like-minded people?

Yes, Google is necessary. So is doing your homework. You get more than one persons perspective when using a search engine like Google, Bing, Yahoo and others. They are sources of sources and to not trust them is to not make full use of the wonderful resource we call the internet. You have the option of choosing what sounds and feels right to you and discarding the rest. Every now and then a search engine will also bring up more questions than answers which in turn will introduce you to even more sources of knowledge. To come to a forum and ask your questions without at least looking for an answer/s on your own is asking to be spoon fed.

i can see that there are many knowledgeable and good people here, but a few bad apples can spoil the harvest.

lol...we make cider from bad apples and they make great deer bait, which starts a whole different kind of harvest. In reality though, we're all just part of the harvest.

tomas and Old Hen
Logged
"Music is a release from the tyranny of conscious thought"
-- Kevin Burke
Insanity is inherited, you get it from your kids...

Xicked

  • Member
  • Hawthorn
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1183
Re: In response to any perceived harsh responses to newcomers
« Reply #10 on: June 28, 2010, 12:20:22 PM »

Looking for a discussion is not the same thing as asking for information.  Anyone can look up something on Google, but actually discussing a topic with supposedly spiritually-minded people is a much better way of learning, imo.  In regard to the True Names thread, Sky Wolf admitted that s/he may be at fault, apologized for reacting, and tried to get the thread going again by clarifying her thoughts and providing more direction for the 'discussion' to go, and now the thread is locked. (??)


Sky Wolf- I do agree with Tomas Hen on the "thicker skin" part of things... if you stick around here (and I hope you do), you will just have to get used to most threads having grammar corrections, pages of derailments based on useless semantics, and Family Guy references.

Logged
"Try and penetrate with our limited means the secrets of nature and you will find that, behind all the discernible concatenations, there remains something subtle, intangible and inexplicable." - Albert Einstein

Sky_Wolf

  • Member
  • Willow
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 57
  • "Hate fades, Love grows."
    • the Cure for Boredom
Re: In response to any perceived harsh responses to newcomers
« Reply #11 on: June 28, 2010, 12:33:16 PM »

to tomas and old hen, fair points, true enough.
i consent that some comments get taken the wrong way and some people just talk like that, but i still insist some things i've seen around here are pretty uncalled for. it takes all kinds, but i guess i just didn't expect harshness on here of all places, where people often come to escape prejudice, so it shocks me a bit when i do see it.
as for google, i would be inclined to come here if like-minded friends and books yielded no answers, before i searched on the internet. i find it's much more enlightneing to have a conversation with someone on a forum or in life than to sit alone with google. just becuase someone hasn't used a search engine doesn't mean they haven't looked anything up or won't afterwards.

and to Xicked, thankyou, i'm glad someone noticed i was trying to recover that thread before it was locked :P i suppose if i expect to be shown patience i'll have to show a little more myself, and try to simply ignore unhelpful posts in future to carry on the discussion
Logged
"People fear the wolf in the darkness because they fear the darkness in themselves."

Arnemetia

  • Council Elder
  • Redwood
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 5790
  • Crone
Re: In response to any perceived harsh responses to newcomers
« Reply #12 on: June 28, 2010, 12:36:33 PM »

i'd like to believe there are good people on this site, but so far they seem to be in the silent majority. most of what i have encountered has been ridicule and childish bickering. i am really debating whether or not to leave. this was my haven when i started witchcraft, but now it seems no one can open their mouths around here without having someone leap down their throat. it's very saddening.

I went back and read through your threads. Please show me where anyone leapt down your throat. I can't seem to find it.

but surely, from a site and path that teaches such tolerance and love, even 'dumb' or badly worded questions should be treated with understanding and patience. i really don't see the need for any rudness or ridicule from any member towards another. surely these 'dumb' questions are better ignored or left for someone else to respond to if one cannot think of a kind answer. what ever happened to if you can't say something nice don't say anything at all?
i'll grant you the expectation that someone would look around the site before asking a question, but is google really neccessary? i've never regarded it as a reliable source, i'd rather ask a friend or look up a book, and besides, don't people come here with questions because they'd rather have a discussion with like-minded people?
i can see that there are many knowledgeable and good people here, but a few bad apples can spoil the harvest.

First off, this site has many people from many paths. Not just Wicca. So expecting "patience and tolerance" from everyone is an unrealistic expectation.
Even after many years of practice, I still use Google to clarify some things and research others. Especially when I don't have time to dig out the books. IMHO, a good student is one who will utilize any learning source at their disposal.
Discussion is a good thing but at what point does it become tiresome and worn out? Unless progress is being made I feel it is useless to continue just for the sake of talking.

It is up to you what you get from this site. If you want people to cater to your whims and expectations, you are not going to be happy here. If you are willing to see beyond what you "think" someone meant, then you will learn and grow. Dust off your sense of humor and hang on tight, it could be one heck of ride if you care to get on board. Blessings, Arn
« Last Edit: June 28, 2010, 12:59:14 PM by Arnemetia »
Logged
We touch each others lives, for the time we are meant to.

Sometimes the best advice is silence.

Never let your Memories be greater than your Dreams.  Unknown

Mitch

  • Member
  • Cypress
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 386
  • Mitch the Witch
Re: In response to any perceived harsh responses to newcomers
« Reply #13 on: June 28, 2010, 12:56:54 PM »

It is up to you what you get from this site. If you want people to cater to your whims and expectations, you are not going to be happy here. If you are willing to see beyond what you "think" someone meant, then you will learn and grow. Dust off your sense of humor and hang on tight, it could be one heck of ride if you ccare to get on board. Blessings, Arn
[/quote]Very good advice...there are many people here from many backgrounds involved in many paths of faith....so we need to expect a variety of answers...I actually like people to let me know the proper terms, misspellings and just basic constructive critisism, I don't take any of it as being malicious, just as a growing curve...this is the best site to get that because no one holds back and that's what we need...IMO anyway.
Logged
We are not human beings on a spiritual journey...
we are spiritual beings on a human journey.

C_A

  • FIDEI DEFENSOR
  • Council Elder
  • Magnolia
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 6159
  • JERSEY TRUE
Re: In response to any perceived harsh responses to newcomers
« Reply #14 on: June 28, 2010, 12:59:19 PM »

I went back and read through your threads. Please show me where anyone leapt down your throat. I can't seem to find it.

First off, this site has many people from many paths. Not just Wicca. So expecting "patience and tolerance" from everyone is an unrealistic expectation.
Even after many years of practice, I still use Google to clarify some things and research others. Especially when I don't have time to dig out the books. IMHO, a good student is one who will utilize any learning source at their disposal.
Discussion is a good thing but at what point does it become tiresome and worn out? Unless progress is being made I feel it is useless to continue just for the sake of talking.

It is up to you what you get from this site. If you want people to cater to your whims and expectations, you are not going to be happy here. If you are willing to see beyond what you "think" someone meant, then you will learn and grow. Dust off your sense of humor and hang on tight, it could be one heck of ride if you ccare to get on board. Blessings, Arn

Not much I can add to that, Arn.....

(Ed to add)...Actually, I can....

Patience might well be a virtue, but it is not an Ardane.  Tolerance is wonderful, but it is not a Wiccan tenet.

Using a search engine such as Google, or even our built-in search bar, prevents things from becoming "tired and worn out".  There are, at times, two, three, or even four very similar if not exactly the same discussions going on at at time.  MANY times, these are the "same-old-same-old".  That can be wearisome for those of us who have answered a question more than a few times.  As far as learning from online sources, one trait of a witch is discernment.  You need to sort the good from the bad.  The wheat from the chaff.  Many times, thoughts that come out as rude and scornful are just that.  But many MORE times, it's a question of perception. (think about what i told you).  We have hundreds of members.  Many of whom came here looking for the "easy way in", so to speak.  They had their images in their heads from "The Craft" and "Charmed", and wanted to be let in on it.  SOME of them are not only still here, but valued, learned people with a TON of insight.  They got out of it what they put in.  The rest just got out.

« Last Edit: June 28, 2010, 01:11:13 PM by C_A »
Logged
How soon IS now and who IS John Galt?
Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 15   Go Up