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Author Topic: In response to any perceived harsh responses to newcomers  (Read 37831 times)

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Sky_Wolf

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Re: In response to any perceived harsh responses to newcomers
« Reply #15 on: June 28, 2010, 01:04:35 PM »

i never said specifically someone had lept down MY throat, but i've seen it happen. some of my posts HAVE been met with scorn and impatience, however. and it's not JUST correcting someone, either, i've seen six different people making fun of someone when at first glance i didn't even see anything wrong with their posts. they're posting to enrich the thread or ask a question, not to have their posts proof read and be embarassed by half a dozen people. THAT is what i would campaign against, not simply constructive citicism.
and i never said i DIDN'T use google, i said i prefered conversation and discussion, an EXCHANGE of ideas.
perhaps it was optimistic of me to expect tolerance from everyone on here, but that's the kind of faith i had in this site, and the kind of faith i try to have in everyone. call me naive, but i will always think the best of someone or something until proven otherwise.
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Arnemetia

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Re: In response to any perceived harsh responses to newcomers
« Reply #16 on: June 28, 2010, 01:22:50 PM »

Well, Sky Wolf, I would consider the sources. Are the persons making fun doing so because that's what they always do? Some are on here for only that reason. Then there are others who occasionally use humor to bring something to someones attention without coming right out and telling them they are being ridiculous. Look behind the post, not at just the words. You may get a different perspective.
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Rising Raven

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Re: In response to any perceived harsh responses to newcomers
« Reply #17 on: June 28, 2010, 01:27:13 PM »

I completly agree with sky_wolf. Far too often, someone's questions go unanswered because of a misspelling or a grammatical error. People nitpick and snipe without trying to help at all. I've heard about people who come to these boards hoping to find kindred spirits and friendly discussion and instead leave feeling alienated and intimidated. I suppose when there are so many people of so many different faiths and beliefs, there's bound to be some unpleasantness or intolerance, but when it's over the wording of a post, or the grammar, or even a personal take on an established tradition then it feels childish and unnecessary. A touch more kindness would certainly not go amiss.
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Sky_Wolf

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Re: In response to any perceived harsh responses to newcomers
« Reply #18 on: June 28, 2010, 01:31:14 PM »

Far too often, someone's questions go unanswered because of a misspelling or a grammatical error. People nitpick and snipe without trying to help at all. I've heard about people who come to these boards hoping to find kindred spirits and friendly discussion and instead leave feeling alienated and intimidated. A touch more kindness would certainly not go amiss.

i couldn't have said it better myself.
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C_A

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Re: In response to any perceived harsh responses to newcomers
« Reply #19 on: June 28, 2010, 01:32:59 PM »

i've seen six different people making fun of someone

when at first glance i didn't even see anything wrong with their posts.

not to have their posts proof read and be embarassed by half a dozen people.

THAT is what i would campaign against, not simply constructive citicism.

perhaps it was optimistic of me to expect tolerance from everyone on here, but that's the kind of faith i had in this site, and the kind of faith i try to have in everyone. call me naive, but i will always think the best of someone or something until proven otherwise.


Citation?

"At first glance"....did you LOOK, or just glance?

I refer you to The Venerable FireWillow's signature line.

Campaign away!  Improving something you find needing is a noble cause.  

WHY did you "expect" ANYTHING from a web discussion board?  Seriously.  I would like to knw...

Ooops....nevermind

Yes, you are naive.  NOT that that kind of naivete is bad.  But it is, in 2010, just as you called it.
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C_A

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Re: In response to any perceived harsh responses to newcomers
« Reply #20 on: June 28, 2010, 01:34:54 PM »

I've heard about people who come to these boards hoping to find kindred spirits and friendly discussion and instead leave feeling alienated and intimidated.
 I suppose when there are so many people of so many different faiths and beliefs, there's bound to be some unpleasantness or intolerance, but when it's over the wording of a post, or the grammar, or even a personal take on an established tradition then it feels childish and unnecessary. A touch more kindness would certainly not go amiss.
Blessed be

CITATION NEEDED.

I fixed the rest.  You're welcome.
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edens garden

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Re: In response to any perceived harsh responses to newcomers
« Reply #21 on: June 28, 2010, 01:37:04 PM »

i never said specifically someone had lept down MY throat, but i've seen it happen. some of my posts HAVE been met with scorn and impatience, however. and it's not JUST correcting someone, either, i've seen six different people making fun of someone when at first glance i didn't even see anything wrong with their posts. they're posting to enrich the thread or ask a question, not to have their posts proof read and be embarassed by half a dozen people. THAT is what i would campaign against, not simply constructive citicism.
and i never said i DIDN'T use google, i said i prefered conversation and discussion, an EXCHANGE of ideas.
perhaps it was optimistic of me to expect tolerance from everyone on here, but that's the kind of faith i had in this site, and the kind of faith i try to have in everyone. call me naive, but i will always think the best of someone or something until proven otherwise.

You did get a discussion. There was an exchange of ideas. Hell, I posted what I thought was a good relevant response. Your problem is that you didn't really want an EXCHANGE of ideas, you wanted ideas you agreed with.

Citation?

WHY did you "expect" ANYTHING from a web discussion board?  Seriously.  I would like to knw...

Ooops....nevermind

Yes, you are naive.  NOT that that kind of naivete is bad.  But it is, in 2010, just as you called it.

 ;)
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Sky_Wolf

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Re: In response to any perceived harsh responses to newcomers
« Reply #22 on: June 28, 2010, 02:19:54 PM »

sigh.

"At first glance"....did you LOOK, or just glance?

i read it, but in order to have noticed the mistake you'd have to have been LOOKING for a mistake to correct, instead of reading the post in order to answer the questions therein.

why wouldn't i expect tolerance? why wouldn't i expect decency? surely everyone expects to be delt with in that manner, on forums or not.

Your problem is that you didn't really want an EXCHANGE of ideas, you wanted ideas you agreed with.

i simply didn't get many responces i felt were relevant. someone was on about legal documentation. it didn't matter if i agreed with them or not (i can't say i did agree with many of the relevant answers posted, but i was happy to read them) as long as they were on the topic of true names in the spiritual sense, which is what i was asking about, and tried to make clear three times. i already consented maybe i wasn't clear, but continued to be critised afterwards and had the topic locked even.
and now, after consenting that perhaps for the most part comments are simply taken the wrong way and saying i should be more patient in the future, i continue to be critisised. this has become an example of what i'm disagreeing with. it's clear that expressing my views on these forums will be met with critisism, even if i admit i am wrong or try to word a more diplomatic answer. i have friends here who don't want me to leave, but with every post i'm feeling like this isn't the place for me anymore.
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FireWillow

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Re: In response to any perceived harsh responses to newcomers
« Reply #23 on: June 28, 2010, 02:37:21 PM »



If anyone wants my input regarding this, see the other threads that contain the EXACT same discussion.


FW,
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« Last Edit: June 28, 2010, 02:39:47 PM by FireWillow »
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theosophia

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Re: In response to any perceived harsh responses to newcomers
« Reply #24 on: June 28, 2010, 04:06:41 PM »

... i continue to be critisised. this has become an example of what i'm disagreeing with. ...

It's a rather public forum.  Not a discussion with an individual or even with a defined group.

That means anyone is liable to come by and say anything, perhaps adding their own slant or explanation to what ever it was that you considered to be "criticism."  Maybe in their own minds they think they have a better way of explaining it.  

Or -- once you have been told a particular thing, should other people be limited in what they can say about it?


By the way -- I personally find it rather insulting when people claim that the forum is somehow "worse" now than it was at some fantasy-era in the past.  I have been a member here since Herne was running the web site -- something like 10 years or so.  And I have heard that silly accusation pretty much constantly throughout that entire time.  But no, the forum has not somehow magically turned evil and unfriendly.  In general, it is just as "friendly" now as it has ever been.  

As with pretty much everything, the forum for each individual person is what they themselves make of it.
« Last Edit: June 28, 2010, 04:08:24 PM by theosophia »
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Wyldkat

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Re: In response to any perceived harsh responses to newcomers
« Reply #25 on: June 28, 2010, 06:59:47 PM »

I think part of the problem with message boards is that short of locking a thread or having a mod jump in and yell "Shut UP already!" people will just keep on replying to replies until they either get their point across, get fed up or get bored, depending on where they are coming from.  A person might feel that they are done with what they had to say, but then people will reply to what they felt was a final post and keep the whole rig-a-ma-role going.

Everyone has a different personality.  Some of them get along better than others.  Add in the impersonal atmosphere of the internet, specifically a message board over chat, and there are BOUND to be problems.  At any site like this people show up to learn, mock, teach, hang out, etc, etc, etc...  It takes awhile on any board to figure out which people to listen to, which people to ignore and which people to tease mercilessly.  To do that you NEED to have a thick skin, patience, and to take everything with a grain of salt.

As to the ever dreaded admonition to use google and or the search function...  Honestly I don't much like either of them.  Google tends to give you more than you could ever want most of which is of questionable worth.  The search function on this site more often than not does actually find you topics close to what you are looking for.  Many times though it doesn't.  You don't need to be able to write a thesis on the topic you are asking about, all that most would ask is that you have TRIED to find some information on it.  If there are fifteen topics about visualization and a whole section about it on the main site, and you ask, "How does visualization work?" people might not be as patient as they would have been if you had searched first and then asked, "I'm not sure how to tell what is real visualization and what I is my imagination?"  Both have to do with visualization, but one will actually get your real question answered while the other is just too broad and way to over asked/basic/out there everywhere.  I hope that helps explain the search issue...
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okrablossom

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Re: In response to any perceived harsh responses to newcomers
« Reply #26 on: July 03, 2010, 02:56:51 PM »

 :) I am a neewbie i guess, and i havent asled any questions yet as i am still researching and just reading everyone elses posts. Some are helpful and others are humourous. I say just keep reading and dont let others bother you.
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Black Hat Guy

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Re: In response to any perceived harsh responses to newcomers
« Reply #27 on: July 07, 2010, 11:55:46 AM »

SUCK IT UP NOOBS.  ITS SINK OR SWIM!
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Lieta007

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Re: In response to any perceived harsh responses to newcomers
« Reply #28 on: July 08, 2010, 03:58:56 AM »

:) I am a neewbie i guess, and i havent asled any questions yet as i am still researching and just reading everyone elses posts. Some are helpful and others are humourous. I say just keep reading and dont let others bother you.
I agree 100%.  We have a saying in my country: "Vat dit van wie dit kom" which basically means take it from who (whom?) it comes from.  If a person is known to handle serious matters with a touch of humour or sarcasm, and their answer/comment contains just that, then you know it's not just aimed at you. 
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Arnemetia

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Re: In response to any perceived harsh responses to newcomers
« Reply #29 on: July 10, 2010, 10:00:13 PM »

Curiosity, I am liking you more and more. As for your "dialect"; "smurf" is an acceptable alternative.  ;) Attempt to not be too harsh on some of the "kids". Some are very new and need some guidance. As far as dark and sarcastic, you and Snakey will do just fine. With me, watch out for the cane. If need be I am very adept with it. Answering posts with some cutsey or idiotic picture irritates the smurf out of me. If you can't type an intelligent response, then don't respond. Unless of course it's in T.I.. If you have searched the internet, books and the boards here and still can't find the answer to your question, then say so. "I have looked everywhere and cannot find the answer to this". You are more likely to be taken seriously that way and someone who does know where to find the answer will either tell you or direct you to it. OK?
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