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i fear religion, could wicca be what im looking for?
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juliedean0329

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i fear religion, could wicca be what im looking for?
« on: January 20, 2011, 09:28:16 AM »

hello all, my name is Julie- and for a long time i have had a *fear?* of religion.
   When asked about my beliefs, my usual answer is "i don't know" I was raised in a Pentecostal family, and i can remember a time when i praised Jesus and sang "B-I-B-L-E- That's the book for me!", with the rest of my sunday school class, but that was a long time ago. 
I don't know how old i was when i started questioning that innocent faith, but sometimes i do miss the ignorance of my youth.  These days i have nothing but doubt for almost everything, the only thing i am sure of is the fact that I'm not sure. I so far have decided to just stick with the basics of knowing right from wrong, good from evil, and knowing in my heart that i am a good person and that is what would really matter (if anything does) in the end.
    i think  -clothing preference, -( skirts/dress- long sleeve shirts)- hair (not allowed to cut it), makeup and jewelry (not suppose to wear any), body piercing & tattoos-( TV (lol, the devil's box of moving pictures) , -none of these things make someone a good or bad person. growing up, I was that teenager that wore only black , dark eyes ,full of angst and anger, trying to prove something to the world i guess. but i know i was lost, and i still am. I was forced to go to church every sunday. i was only forced to dress the part when we went to church tho. as soon as we got home the skirt was off and the pants were on, my step-dad was cursing up a storm again, my mom would stand by and let one of my brothers or me get our beating for something we may have done to embarrass them at church, or sometimes spending the rest of our sunday kneeling on our knees for hours as punishment. how do you have faith in a religion when its 'suppose' followers seem to do contradicting  things under their long hair and long skirts. I can remember a girl my age at church, she was one all the adults loved, she dressed the part, she seemed sweet and innocent and seemed the live by Pentecostal standards. yet, with myself being a teenager, and semi-friends with her, i knew things the adults didn't. I knew one day, when we were both about 14-15, she was crying while talking with a mutual male friend, come to find out she was crying cause she thought she might be pregnant. hummmm...here i was, still a virgin-she might be preggy- yet in the eyes of the church i was the slutty devil worshiper cause i wore pants, and she was a perfect angel....this same girl was also the leader of the group of girls that eventually made me an outcast at church, made fun of me , said nasty things...once threw a coke can at me then walked away with her groupies laughing..i spoke to her about it after that incident. i asked her, "how do you expect me to embrace your religion when i see you act that way?" I explained to her that it was people like her that make the religion seem so hypocritical. You claim to be a Cristian, yet you purposely hurt people for your own amusement.
   Anyway, that's just some examples of things that turned me away from all religions.....but here i am, 30 years old, and i still feel lost. Like i said, i sometimes miss the ignorance of my youth. I do feel, there is something bigger, i just cant grasp it...is it something bigger than me or something bigger (more) to me. or both? I said i fear religion, but i think that's for lack of a better word, i have a hard time explaining it, even to myself. I guess i fear knowledge of it in a way...maybe getting trapped by the guilt it instills in you... maybe as long as i can say "i don't know" i can keep some innocence ...
   but i have recently started reading some on Wicca and I'm for the first time feeling tugs on my heartstrings for a religion, I'm not feeling the fear of it as i normally do. i really like and can connect with some of the things Ive read. i like the different paths leading to the same place thing, that was words i was looking for. i plan to research more and discover this religion with an open mind and open heart. I do feel a bit overwhelmed by it all, but in a good way...i actually want to learn about it and i cant wait to feed my soul  :) .
sorry if i rambled.. :-p  if you have any question feel free to ask...or any suggestions would be welcomed.
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juliedean0329

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Re: i fear religion, could wicca be what im looking for?
« Reply #1 on: January 20, 2011, 09:36:21 AM »

Also, I have a question about face reading, but im not sure where to post it..suggestions?
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Hjolmaer

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Re: i fear religion, could wicca be what im looking for?
« Reply #2 on: January 20, 2011, 09:39:12 AM »

Eh.  You're not the first to ramble in your introduction, and you won't be the last.

Pretty sure I did....

Anyway, on with the proper response.

You mention that you think your apprehension regarding most paths is knowing about them.  Perhaps putting your faith in something that seems to contradict itself?  That would cause a great deal of apprehension.  

What, exactly, draws you to Wicca?  What parts of the religion are speaking to you?  Mind, Wiccans are generally encouraged (strongly) to research and understand their path, and seekers to the path are generally encouraged even more strongly to not only research and seek understanding of Wicca, but also of other spiritual paths.

Nothing quite so bad as sticking yourself with a religion and then finding out you don't like it.

Keep an open mind, and do as much research into as many paths as you can as you are Wicca.  Get a good, solid grasp on as many as possible.  After all, it's your spirituality.  Why settle?

If you find you keep coming back to Wicca, then it's obviously the answer for you.  At least at this point in time.  If you find yourself drawn more toward something else, then you find yourself with time saved attempting to devote to a path you don't completely agree with.

I'm not saying don't seek the Wiccan path, I'm just saying to make sure it's the path you REALLY want to seek.  Nothing says you can't leave it later, but nothing says you have to choose now, either.

The stickied threads (names are in bold type and they have a push-pin symbol) in Wicca Q&A, Pagan Q&A and Newbies have a lot of good information to get you started, and as always, the search function here on the boards can help you find existing topics and information.

And if it isn't already here somewhere, then by all means, don't be afraid to post it yourself.

The more you participate here, the more you'll get out of your time here.

Welcome to the forums.  Enjoy your stay.
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Hjolmaer

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Re: i fear religion, could wicca be what im looking for?
« Reply #3 on: January 20, 2011, 09:40:10 AM »

Also, I have a question about face reading, but im not sure where to post it..suggestions?

Um?

I'd suggest under the heading "Kiva" in General Discussions.  Unless it's something specifically meta-physically related (like palmistry), but if you just don't know, you can't go wrong with Kiva.

That, and if there's a better header, we can always offer to move it for you.
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juliedean0329

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Re: i fear religion, could wicca be what im looking for?
« Reply #4 on: January 20, 2011, 08:50:16 PM »

thank you hjolmaer.
>>>What, exactly, draws you to Wicca? What parts of the religion are speaking to you? Mind, Wiccans are generally encouraged (strongly) to research and understand their path, and seekers to the path are generally encouraged even more strongly to not only research and seek understanding of Wicca, but also of other spiritual paths.<<<<

I've been pondering this , im not sure if i know enough yet myself to answer it... does that make any sense? lol, anyway, i think you partly answered it for me...>>>>Wiccans are generally encouraged (strongly) to research and understand their path, and seekers to the path are generally encouraged even more strongly to not only research and seek understanding of Wicca, but also of other spiritual paths.<<<<
I don't feel forced, or that i will be punished for not believing exactly what someone is telling me to believe...i like that it-so far- seems to let you be the individual that you are without that being a bad thing itself... i like that it doesn't seem to condemn anyone- even those of other religions...i like going by the basics of you know in your heart of whats good or evil..i have always been drawn to nature and animals...so I'm touched on that level too... I'm not quite sure what draws me to it, but i do know i am drawn enough to want to learn more...for the first time in a long time i kind of feel like I'm on the brink of some great discovery....I've been through some rough times the past couple of years and I've been pretty hopeless lately...but i found this site and started reading, suddenly , a glimmer of hope :)...and i am thankful for that.



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Passer Urbanus

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Re: i fear religion, could wicca be what im looking for?
« Reply #5 on: January 20, 2011, 10:31:19 PM »

Welcome aboard, Julie.  I hope Wicca provides you what you need.
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Snake-Man

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Re: i fear religion, could wicca be what im looking for?
« Reply #6 on: January 20, 2011, 11:35:06 PM »

Hmmm...if you have a fear of religion, Atheism might be a better choice for you...
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C_A

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Re: i fear religion, could wicca be what im looking for?
« Reply #7 on: January 21, 2011, 01:50:05 AM »

....Wiccans are generally encouraged (strongly) to research and understand their path, and seekers to the path are generally encouraged even more strongly to not only research and seek understanding of Wicca, but also of other spiritual paths.<<<<

+1
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