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Author Topic: Just another new member  (Read 846 times)

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Amor

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Just another new member
« on: February 26, 2012, 11:52:05 AM »

Hello all!

 My name is Amor (obviously!) and I am Scots-born though I have lived in London for most of my life. I was first introduced to Paganism by a teacher at my senior school. I attended a strict convent school and one nun mentioned Samhian after being asked why Hallowe'en fell on the 31st of October. She told us Samhian was a festival of Evil, a time for people to fornicate with the Devil. At the time I accepted her explination but a few years later I began to question it, deciding there had to be another side to the story. (As my Grandmother said, there are three sides to every story, his side, her side and the Truth's side.)
 
After some digging I found more about Samhian and began to explore Paganism. I had been brought up in a strict Catholic family and always felt something was not quite right. Sitting in the back of my local library, reading about Pagans, Druids and Wiccans, something clicked. I knew this made far more sense to me than my Catholic upbringing. I was 15 or 16 years old at this time. A bit more digging reveled a few local covens, though none would accept me until I turned 18. It was pretty frustrating at the time though I now feel that makes a fair amout of sense. I felt I would feel complete once I joined a coven, once I had people around me who understood. I practiced in private for a few years, and kept tabs on one conven until I was 18 years old. It turned out to be an anti-climax. I felt a tiny bit better but something was still a little wrong. I only stayed with them for about a month before leaving again, conviced I was better on my own. I am still Solitary to this day.
 
It was not until I was 23 years old that I finaly realised who I was. I had been conviced something was wrong with me since I was about 13 years old, maybe a little sooner. The others girls would talk about boys and who was going out with who all the time as teenagers but I never really saw the joy if it. I thought I was somehow defective, due in part, I think, to the Catholic strictness I had grown up with. It was quite a sunny day so I went to Central London and saw a couple kissing. They seemed so happy, so content, and at that moment the penny dropped. I was, and always had been, gay.

My family was, to begin with, very unsupportive. They saw homosexuality as a sin and that, added to my increasing seperation form the Church, was enough to drive us apart. I didn't really see them for a year or so. It took a good few years (and lots of tears and tissues and tea) for us to get back to how we were before I came out of the closet (and the broom closet for that matter) but we are now a united family again. I do not mention my faith around them and they do not mention the Church around me.

I am now in a happy relationship, complete with dogs (and, if I get my way, a rabbit, but my girlfriend is unconvinced) and I am very happy with who and am and my life at the moment.

This was all a little long-winded but I feel one of the best ways to get to know someone is to find there past. People's pasts shape them and have a say in how they act, how they react. Understand the past, understand the person. So that's me, Amor. Hello!!
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oldghost

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Re: Just another new member
« Reply #1 on: February 26, 2012, 12:44:16 PM »

Welcome Amor , hope you find what you seek .
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"Everything I know I learned by listening and watching . Nowadays people learn out of books instead . Doctors study what man has learned . I pray to understand what man has forgotten ." Vernon Cooper

SnapDragon

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Re: Just another new member
« Reply #2 on: February 28, 2012, 12:58:41 AM »

Third sentence in and i had forgot this was a post and thought it was a novel, kinda upset when it ended. It's written to captivate. o.o
What a life you've lived so far, it seems like you must have had an emotional roller coaster. I've had my share of good coasters myself and I agree about knowing some ones past. It lets you take a peek at how mature they might be and how much wisdom they have gathered.
Well, before I ramble myself into a wall by adding my nonsense, 'two-cents' in here I'm going to stop talking. Unless you like non-sense. ;p

~Your a very lovely writer, nice to know a bit about you and congrats on making it this far~
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live long and prosper :p

marisol

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Re: Just another new member
« Reply #3 on: February 28, 2012, 11:07:35 AM »

Welcome Amor I enjoyed reading your intro. You have had quite a journey,  I hope you enjoy the board.

Blessed be
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