Welcome, Guest
May 24, 2018, 09:02:25 AM
News: Visit our Store for Pagan Books, Wiccan Jewelry and Magical Supplies! http://wicca.com/stores/entrance.html
Pages: [1] 2 3   Go Down

Author Topic: Fireflies  (Read 6024 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

edens garden

  • Member
  • Walnut
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 4092
Fireflies
« on: March 21, 2013, 10:40:05 PM »

This all took place over a five day long camping trip/spiritual retreat I took with some very interesting fellow pagans/witches/heathens.

The main ritual was planned over the course of a few months prior to the trip. It had been a long process of suggestion, revision, and in the end it was something everything could agree on, even if we weren't completely comfortable with it. Ritual morning started with a group breakfast. After wards we went on a group nature walk to find the best place for our ritual. After that we broke for lunch and spent most of the afternoon preparing ourselves in whatever way we felt best for the ritual. When it was time (despite the thunderstorms growing closer) we grounded as a group and then made our way to the ritual spot. All I will say about the ritual is this: for one reason or another I don't believe anyone was truly satisfied.

The high point of the ritual for me was the thunderstorm that came up about half way through. Thinking about it now that was the only thing that personally tied the initial ritual to what would take place later that evening. We continued in the rain, and it seemed like with each rumble of thunder the current under my skin became a bit more uncomfortable. I have always been very sensitive to natural energies, thunder storms in particular. What I didn't know how to do well at the time was to direct that energy or ground myself (honestly I still struggle with this at times). When we made our way back to camp I was still struggling with the build up of that energy.

Once we got back I started on dinner. Now, here's the thing: If you are the girl making orange chicken picatta for over half a dozen people in the middle of the woods and you ask for a drink, you're going to wind up with more than one. So, hands shaking from the energy I couldn't do anything with, I finished dinner while I downed a margarita (no salt, someone kicked that over the first night), an alcoholic Arnold Palmer, and about 3 fingers of homemade twenty seven year old bourbon. To say that by the time we sat down for dinner I was feeling like a million bucks is a bit of an overstatement. That didn't last, however. When we started to pick up after dinner I was feeling dizzy and queasy. Our Farm Witch took my plate for me and asked me to sit while he did my cleaning up for me. While he was talking to me he had his hands resting on my shoulders, and after he walked away I would swear to you I was stone cold sober.

Once everyone settled around the fire he told us that he would like to perform his own ritual, and that any of us who were interested were invited to watch. Before heading off into the woods to prepare he pulled me off to the side and told me it would mean a lot to him if I would be a part of it, and of course I agreed. At this point I still was feeling the electric current under my skin I have come to associate with raising energy. One of the other guys there had jokingly called me a battery at one point or another during the trip because “You store all that energy but unless you are plugged into something you can't do a damn thing with it.” It didn't occur to me until several weeks later that that is probably why our resident Farm Witch wanted me around. And I am unbelievably thankful he did.

When he had finished his preparations he came and brought most of us into the woods. He had already prepared an outer circle, to include us, as well as an inner circle in which he would conduct the ritual. As soon as we entered that outer circle the thunder started again, along with some impressive flashes of heat lightening. He quickly finished closing his circles and began. He conducted his ritual silently. Some were engaged in watching him, others seemed uneasy and unfocused. I honestly couldn't tell you who of us was which. The second he began I felt more alive that I had up until that point, and possibly since. Every particle of that forest was a part of me, down to the smallest sound or movement. I couldn't see him, or hear his ritual, but it seemed like I felt every single step. I had more energy surging through me than I could have imagined, but for once it felt like it was building something outside myself, instead of overwhelming me.

After what could have been an hour or an instant I was filled with the most perfect stillness. Everyone else (except Farmer, who was focused on his ritual) caught sight of a light in the trees. I remember someone asking in a frightened voice if it was a coyote. Apparently they thought it was eyes, but there was no light to reflect off of save the occasional flashes of heat lightening. In that moment there was no question in my mind what we were seeing, nor has there been any since. Firefly.

I grew up in Idaho listening to my mom talk about fireflies from when she was a little girl growing up in Connecticut. In my mind they were magic, pure and simple. I am all grown up now, and in that belief I am still six years old. I saw them for the first time when I was sixteen, and I was so completely overwhelmed just driving past a field lit up by them I begged my boyfriends parents to pull the car over. I spent the next ten minutes sitting in the middle of a field off state route nine, captivated. The next day I began exploring for something spiritually that could come close to what I felt sitting in that field surrounded by hundreds of lights.

I remember whispering, telling everyone that is what they were seeing, but I can't be certain I made a sound. I don't remember the ritual ending, I don't remember if anyone said anything to me before wandering off to camp. I just remember the stillness, and the light. Farmer was the one who broke that spell. He didn't say so much as a word, just led me a few yards away and helped me lean against a tree, placing my palms against the rough bark on either side. And then he walked away.

As soon as I touched the tree whatever energy I had remaining drained out of me. I was left weak, supported only by the tree behind me. I honestly felt more empty that I ever have. For a moment. It has been nearly three years, and I still don't have the words to truly explain what happened to me next. The closest I have come is this: I was given a choice. In that instant I knew I had to either choose to follow this path, wherever it may lead, or to deny it and wander, lost. I was flooded with two lifetimes worth of emotion. Loneliness, wonder, awe, spirituality. Or acceptance, emptiness, longing, false security. I made my choice, without consciously knowing I did. And I have never looked back.

I can only sum it up using Farmers words. When he came to me, still slumped against that tree, sobbing through the most pure joy I have ever felt. “The Goddess found you, didn't she?”

And so she did.
Logged
In the magic of the northern woods I learn
Lift your song up to the winds and watch it turn
I own nothing I own not even my soul
In the silence of the heart all things unfold
-Trevor Hall

Rosemadder

  • Member
  • Rowan
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 116
  • Live joyously
Re: Fireflies
« Reply #1 on: March 22, 2013, 08:12:55 AM »

Now that is a story.

Thanks so much for putting it down for us. Thank you for sharing.

I'm so glad I got to read it. <3
Logged

edens garden

  • Member
  • Walnut
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 4092
Re: Fireflies
« Reply #2 on: March 22, 2013, 08:15:00 AM »

Now that is a story.

Thanks so much for putting it down for us. Thank you for sharing.

I'm so glad I got to read it. <3

Thank you, Rose.

I have been debating sharing this for the last two or three years now. Just the act of writing it down was exhausting, but I'm glad I finally got around to it.
Logged
In the magic of the northern woods I learn
Lift your song up to the winds and watch it turn
I own nothing I own not even my soul
In the silence of the heart all things unfold
-Trevor Hall

Arnemetia

  • Council Elder
  • Redwood
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 5790
  • Crone
Re: Fireflies
« Reply #3 on: March 22, 2013, 08:53:56 AM »

Wonderful EG.  Thank you for sharing that with us.
Logged
We touch each others lives, for the time we are meant to.

Sometimes the best advice is silence.

Never let your Memories be greater than your Dreams.  Unknown

Draconis Rex

  • Your friendly, fire breathing
  • Council Elder
  • Blackthorn
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 9747
  • I am the mad dragon, hear me roar!
Re: Fireflies
« Reply #4 on: March 22, 2013, 08:55:38 AM »

An interesting read and both a frightening and uplifting experience. No wonder you felt drained afterwards. Thanks for sharing EG.
Logged
Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup

I WAS the 5th rider of the Apocalypse, before they became famous.

marisol

  • Member
  • Redwood
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 5855
  • Blessed be all in the Goddess
Re: Fireflies
« Reply #5 on: March 22, 2013, 09:52:11 AM »

Thanks EG. Fireflies are disappearing due to changes in habitat and lighting around our cities and towns. When I was little they were everywhere, I thought they were very magical. We can increase the population by having small ponds in our yards, planting trees or leaving leafs and
pieces of sticks or rotting logs around trees.
« Last Edit: March 22, 2013, 10:13:17 AM by marisol »
Logged
Protect your 2nd amendment rights.

What do you seek?

Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.   Kurt Cobain

edens garden

  • Member
  • Walnut
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 4092
Re: Fireflies
« Reply #6 on: March 22, 2013, 10:21:28 AM »

Thanks EG. Fireflies are disappearing due to changes in habitat and lighting around our cities and towns. When I was little they were everywhere, I thought they were very magical. We can increase the population by having small ponds in our yards, planting trees or leaving leafs and
pieces of sticks or rotting logs around trees.

The second I buy a house I will be doing this. Really hate living in an apartment right now!
Logged
In the magic of the northern woods I learn
Lift your song up to the winds and watch it turn
I own nothing I own not even my soul
In the silence of the heart all things unfold
-Trevor Hall

Arnemetia

  • Council Elder
  • Redwood
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 5790
  • Crone
Re: Fireflies
« Reply #7 on: March 24, 2013, 09:09:25 AM »

I loved chasing fireflies as a child.  There are none out here in Oregon.  A few years ago I went back east to a reunion and got to chase them again with my nieces and nephews.  :)
Logged
We touch each others lives, for the time we are meant to.

Sometimes the best advice is silence.

Never let your Memories be greater than your Dreams.  Unknown

Earthbound Spirit

  • Council Elder
  • Maple
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 10542
Re: Fireflies
« Reply #8 on: March 24, 2013, 09:29:25 AM »

They all live in Kentucky now....  :-p  I saw hundreds of them when I was there.
Logged
"Oh Well...Whatever...Nevermind"  Kurt Cobain

"Just because you're paranoid, don't mean they're not after you" - Kurt Cobain

Arnemetia

  • Council Elder
  • Redwood
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 5790
  • Crone
Re: Fireflies
« Reply #9 on: March 24, 2013, 09:33:14 AM »

They all live in Kentucky now....  :-p  I saw hundreds of them when I was there.

That is where the reunion was. LOL  At Cumberland Lake.
Logged
We touch each others lives, for the time we are meant to.

Sometimes the best advice is silence.

Never let your Memories be greater than your Dreams.  Unknown

marisol

  • Member
  • Redwood
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 5855
  • Blessed be all in the Goddess
Re: Fireflies
« Reply #10 on: March 25, 2013, 01:16:23 PM »

I read recently a new species of firefly was found in Pennsylvania. There are some here but not
many.
Logged
Protect your 2nd amendment rights.

What do you seek?

Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.   Kurt Cobain

Draconis Rex

  • Your friendly, fire breathing
  • Council Elder
  • Blackthorn
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 9747
  • I am the mad dragon, hear me roar!
Re: Fireflies
« Reply #11 on: March 25, 2013, 01:39:31 PM »

Logged
Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup

I WAS the 5th rider of the Apocalypse, before they became famous.

Firesong

  • Council Elder
  • Walnut
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 4448
  • Laughin' at the Angels, laughin' at you;
Re: Fireflies
« Reply #12 on: March 25, 2013, 03:39:34 PM »

Absolutely beautiful EG... I lived in Ohio as a child and fell in love with them as well.  I'll always remember the lightning bugs, and the Cicadas; an audio visual delight...
Logged
"Every thug deserves a slug..."
~Anonymous

edens garden

  • Member
  • Walnut
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 4092
Re: Fireflies
« Reply #13 on: March 25, 2013, 03:44:08 PM »



You, sir, are a gentleman and a scholar.
Logged
In the magic of the northern woods I learn
Lift your song up to the winds and watch it turn
I own nothing I own not even my soul
In the silence of the heart all things unfold
-Trevor Hall

Draconis Rex

  • Your friendly, fire breathing
  • Council Elder
  • Blackthorn
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 9747
  • I am the mad dragon, hear me roar!
Re: Fireflies
« Reply #14 on: March 25, 2013, 03:52:24 PM »

LoL.... I have my moments 8)
Logged
Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup

I WAS the 5th rider of the Apocalypse, before they became famous.
Pages: [1] 2 3   Go Up